Timothy Cape

How To Get Better


  1. Wrap up warm.
  2. Cook yourself a big dinner and eat, eat, eat.
  3. Relax with good people.
  4. Run naked along the tip of a stormy atlantic peninsula shouting “I AM THE REASON! I AM THE REASON! I AM THE REASON! I AM THE REASON!”
  5. Eat plenty of custard creams and take enormous naps.
  6. Scratch all the good bits over and over, bend over and slap your fleshy parts.
  7. Wash over and over with lovely soap.
  8. Talk to strangers, especially delinquants and those mentally frail.
  9. Make your body as big as the room.
  10. Make your eyes go out to your arms.
  11. Situate your head down by your knees for a while.
  12. Masturbate frequently, always aware of the shaft of light shining upwards from your chest to divinity. At the moment of climax say the words “Lord hear my prayer” inside your head.
  13. The silence of that big house on that mountainside, at dawn in winter, is nestled gently inside your skull.
  14. Go around your house searching for the best noises. If something makes a good noise, make sure to let it know.
  15. Make a big cake and give it to strangers.
  16. Get drunk in a pub, get up on the table and do the exact dance that will help figure it all out.
  17. Eat a big bowl of coco pops.
  18. Get so cosy you could die.
  19. Lie on the sofa and wait.



December 2016